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As long as it wasn't anything that I said," Dana replied."No, not at all," Ray lied."Have you ever had dinner there?" Where?" Polly's. Where else?" she laughed. "I was curious what it was like when folks are there for the open mic."She looked pleased. She glowed a little like a kid at Disney World."Oh. I really don't know. How bout we get your mom to watch the kids and try dinner there?" You think?" Why not? The fact that we are parents shouldn't stop us from being able to go out without the kids." Ray stated."Okay. Why not?" Dana replied hesitantly."Great. I'll drop you home before I head back to work. I'll try to wrap up in time to be home at 6:30 the latest." I'll call mom and ask her to come over at 6." Sounds like a plan," Ray smiled.He would admit to himself later how forced it was. But he had to keep trying. He had no other choice that he was willing to accept."Great," Dana smiled again. Her teeth were white and gleaming. Her lips were soft and sexy.They pulled into the. . explosion... in my heartagain. Then, a few months ago, I met Kat and it all happened again.Something inside me opened up and I felt a whole new kind of love forher."His mother nodded."Here's the thing though, mom... At no time in my whole life have I everfelt anything but ambivalence about myself. Sometimes, when I did a goodjob on something, I felt a little pride, but that would fade andsometimes, especially when I looked in a mirror, or when I was in asocial situation... I didn't even feel ambivalence. I felt...embarrassment... or disgust... or loathing." Oh, Willy, please... Please don't say that." I'm not saying it to be melodramatic, mom. I'm saying it because it'sthe truth, but here's the thing - On Thursday, for the first time in mylife, I met a version of me that I actually loved. A version of me whodoesn't just fit in, but who feels comfortable. Who is capable ofspeaking my mind. Who can be open and honest about my feelings. Mom...until Thursday, when I became Billie, I was.
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